Promise
by Deathangel125
Summary: Introspective from Trowa POV about a promise he hopes to keep


Disclaimers: Not mine. I wish they were, but sadly, they belong to someone else with a lot more money than I have.

Pairings: Past 1x2, 3+2

Warnings: There be men in them there hills, doing things they shouldn't be. If you don't like it, don't read it. Yaoi, with a dash of lime.

AN: Feedback always appreciated.

By nature, I am not a patient person, which would surprise many of the people that know me. Just because I'm quiet and undemanding, they seem to believe I have the patience of a saint. Trust me, I do not. If any of us has that much patience it would have to be Wufei. I've seen him sit for several hours in the same spot watching a target, his concentration not broken by any noise or movement. It was actually kind of amusing. For a while I felt like tickling his nose to see if I could get him to flinch or sneeze.

He probably would have thought I had lost my mind.

Anyway, back to the point. It's one of the rare times we all have a chance to be together. We managed to find a ramshackle hunting cabin someone abandoned years ago, from the looks of it. It's not much, a total of five rooms, but it serves our purposes. I just wish we weren't still going out to fight when we're called on. We really need to rest. The constant battles are beginning to take a toll on us.

Wufei decided a few days ago he wanted to be alone, so he had taken his Gundam and disappeared. He did send a message to Quatre saying he was fine. The simple message did wonders to help the little blonde relax. Of course, he isn't the slightest bit relaxed now.

At this very moment, he's sitting on a ragged couch, flipping through the schematics of Sandrock, trying to find a way to improve his Gundam's capabilities. Heero sits on the other end, his ever-present computer open on his lap. The typing is starting to drive me crazy, but no more than Quatre's worried hums every few minutes.

They are both worried because Duo took off after learning Oz had taken some colonists and were making them work in a weapons factory not too far from here. Since he's the only one of us that doesn't have someone to give him assignments or orders, he took it upon himself to see if he could free them.

If I had known he was leaving, I would have gone with him. Anything would be better than sitting here with these two, unable to do anything. We've been listening to a radio Heero got working for any news, but so far there's been nothing.

I'm desperately trying not to let anyone know how worried I am. I don't know if Quatre can sense anything wrong, but I have a really bad feeling I can't get rid of. Duo has been captured in the past, but I don't know if the others are aware of it. The only reason I know is because I have seen the brand on his leg, a reminder not to cross the Alliance, once as he was getting out of the shower.

I probably should have paid more attention to the brand to see if I could learn anything about the long-haired teen, but I admit I was distracted by his near-naked body. It was the only time I've ever seen him with his hair wet and unbound, and he was wearing nothing but a towel as he crossed the hallway into the bedroom he and Heero shared.

Did I forget to mention I am completely and totally obsessed with Duo? A minor oversight on my part, I assure you. I've been watching him since the first time I met him, though I don't say anything. After all, what could I possibly say? 'Hi. I'm Trowa. It's nice to talk to you, and I want your body really bad.' Yeah, I'm sure that would go over really well.

I'm not even sure if he likes guys in general, or me in particular. Duo's a bit strange, in case no one has noticed. He's friendly to everyone, flirts like an expert and talks a lot, but he never says a word that reveals anything about himself. I don't know if anyone else has realized it yet - for all the words that come out of his mouth, he never makes a mistake and lets something slip about his past. I'm not even sure where he comes from, or how he managed to get his hands on a Gundam without having a controller.

His Gundam, Deathscythe, is yet another mystery. When coming to this location, I landed right beside the imposing black mecha and Heavyarms didn't even pick up a signal from it, though the machine's engine was still active. How Duo got such a powerful Gundam is a mystery, and one I want very much to solve, but not nearly as much as I want to solve the mystery of the long-haired, violet eyed teen that can joke as efficiently as he can kill. Duo pulls my attention constantly, even when it needs to be elsewhere. When we are all in a battle together, it's all I can do to pull my thoughts away from him to concentrate on remaining alive.

On top of this, I need to watch the man pounding on his laptop like he's going to destroy it. I'm not sure of the relationship between Heero and Duo, but Duo is the only person I've seen that isn't afraid of the cobalt-eyed pilot, other than Relena, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't have the sense to realize that hounding the serious-minded teen is practically suicide. Heero never says anything when Duo touches him, and that in itself is amazing. Where others are sometimes bothered by Duo's constant rambling, Heero doesn't complain or fuss, merely telling the other teen to be quiet when he needs to concentrate.

I don't understand their relationship at all, and the way Duo touches everyone makes it even more difficult to decipher. There is one thing that gives me hope, though.

As I watch Duo, Duo watches me.

It's nothing obvious, but I can feel his eyes on me. Sometimes if I look quick enough, our eyes meet for just a moment before one of us looks away. Those few seconds send a thrill through me every time it happens, and I can only hope I affect him the same way. I did see a shiver run through him the last time it happened, just as we were leaving our Gundams after arriving. Seeing that shiver made me do something I probably would have never done under any other circumstances.

As we were making our way up to the cabin, I brushed up against him. Doesn't sound like much, does it? It was enough to make my body tingle where we touched, and he stopped dead in his tracks, his constant flow of words interrupted as soon as we made contact. His violet eyes grew wide and he stared at me for several seconds before he recovered and practically ran into the house behind Heero.

I wonder what would have happened if we had been alone. Did I imagine the lust I saw in Duo's eyes when he stared at me? Was I just seeing what I wanted to, or did he really feel something? I wanted to corner him and ask him about it, but after we had gotten inside the house, Heero had been at his side, blue eyes tracking my movements and hovering protectively over Duo.

Heero's computer suddenly starts beeping, and the noise scares the hell out of me. Even Heero jumps at the clamor, Quatre nearly falling off the couch before he realizes what it is. Our eyes go to Heero, who is rapidly flipping through screens, and wait to find out what is going on.

Quatre, normally quite patient, has obviously had about all he can take. When Heero goes several seconds without saying anything, he sits up on his knees and leans over the couch to watch what Heero is doing. I'm actually surprised Heero doesn't complain about the close proximity, but he appears to be engrossed by what he's found. "What is it, Heero?" Quatre asks, finally getting the cobalt-eyed teen's attention.

"A message was sent from an Oz factory saying several of their 'workers' had left the premises and most of the goods were destroyed in a rebel attack. There is no way to tell how the prisoners got out, but some of the guards were killed in the process."

"When did this take place?"

Heero's face forms a frown fiercer than any I've seen before. "Two days ago."

"Oh, no. Duo should be back already," Quatre breathes. I have to agree. Duo's skills at infiltrating surpass all of ours. If the prisoners had been freed from their servitude, Duo should have been right behind them.

Heero's fingers begin to fly across the keyboard so fast I can barely see them. Again, Quatre is faster to speak than I am, which is a good thing. The last thing I need is to reveal how I feel about Duo. "What are you doing?"

"Checking the message boards Duo and I use when one of us is in trouble. If he needs help, he'll put something on one of these, if he can."

My hopes, and heart, fall with Heero's words. Obviously, they are much closer than I wanted to believe. If they have special places they use to keep in contact with each other, they apparently depend on each other a lot. Trying not to let my disappointment show, I close my book, ironically a present from Duo, and rise to leave the room.

I don't get far. As I reach the door, shrill alarms begin to sound, signaling a mobile suit is in the area. Heero tosses aside his computer and we all run for the door only seconds before the black Gundam comes into view. "Something's wrong." It takes a moment to realize it is my own voice to break the tense silence.

Heero and Quatre look at me in surprise. "Why do you say something is wrong?" Heero stares at me.

Suppressing the urge to groan at the question, I point to the black mecha in the sky. "His flying is erratic, and he doesn't have his jammers on. Duo is an excellent pilot, but he doesn't seem to have any control. We'll need the first aid kit."

Heero stares at me for an instant before turning back to the approaching Gundam. After a few long seconds, he nods tersely, "You're right. His piloting skills are commendable and he would never travel without scramblers. He may be hurt. Do you want to meet him in the barn?"

It's my turn to stare in surprise. Not only had he given Duo a compliment, something I've never heard him do about anyone, he had offered me a chance to aid Duo to the house if help was needed. With a nod, I begin the descent down the hill to the barn.

Halfway down the hill, Heero calls my name. I stop and turn around, raising an eyebrow at him in question. Duo is close now, already beginning his landing, and I want to be there as soon as he opens the hatch. When he doesn't speak, I feel the need to prompt whatever it is he wants to say. "What is it, Heero?"

He gets a pained look on his face for an instant before wiping it away and replacing it with the cold mask I'm used to. "Take care of him. If you don't, I **will** kill you."

I'm completely baffled, but I can't take the time to wonder about his meaning. Instead of questioning him, I turn and run down the hill. I get inside just as Duo makes a very bad landing, nearly toppling into Wing. On the ground, I wait, but the hatch doesn't open. Starting to grow more concerned, I use the cable to lift me up to the hatch and bang on it, hoping it will open. If not, I'll need to go get Heero, who probably knows the code to get inside.

Thankfully, the hatch does open. I breathe a sigh of relief until I get a good look at the pilot, who hasn't risen from his seat. He's covered in blood and his clothes are tattered and barely hanging from his body. Tired eyes look back at me and Duo forces a weak smile, "Heya, Tro. S'good to see ya an all, but m'pretty sure m'a gonna pass out now."

As if the words are his cue, Duo does just that, slumping in the pilot's seat. Even as I curse under my breath I move into the cockpit and crouch beside him. I can't help but admire his beauty, especially now that I can look at him without anyone watching me, but I worry about him being unconcious.

As gently as possible, I run my hands down his body, trying to find any injuries that would make it dangerous to move him, and trying to ignore how good it feels to touch him so intimately. The worst wound I find is a gash on his head, just below his hairline, covered by bangs. Thank god it's not in his hair. I would hate to see his reaction if we had to shave some of his hair off in order to stich him up.

That may be the worst open wound, but I am more concerned by the large lump I find on the back of his head. He must have been hit by something, and hit hard. Worried about a concussion, I shake him to wake him up. With a groan, he opens eyes that don't want to focus, lending credence to my suspicions. "Mmmm…hi, Tro'a. You're pretty, ya know that?"

O-kay. Not a good sign. He's definitely not thinking straight. "Duo, I need you to stay awake. I'm pretty sure you have a concussion."

"Yep. Big hammer hit my head. How ya gonna keep me 'wake, Tro?"

Violet eyes blinked up at me and I barely resist doing what I want to do. Among the multiple bruises and scratches on his face and body, the area around his mouth has remained relatively unharmed, drawing my gaze to pink lips. Right now is not the time for my libido to grab me by the throat, but grab it does. When his tongue snakes out to moisten his mouth, my pants grow almost unbearably tight.

"Just talk to me, Duo. You have to stay awake," my voice comes out harsher than I mean for it to due to most of the blood in my brain traveling south.

Carefully, I hoist him into my arms, apologizing when I hear a hiss of pain. "Sorry. I have to get you in the house."

Walking out of the cockpit, I try to figure out how to get us down without causing any further pain to the teen I hold in my arms. With a wince, he winds his arms around my neck and tilts his head up to look at me. "You gon'a kiss me and make it all better, Tro?"

Holy – he's lost his mind. I don't think I can handle this. Subtle flirting is one thing I can withstand, but if he tells me something like that one more time, I swear I'm going to take what I want and to hell with the consequences. Holding onto him with one hand, I grip the cable with the other and manage to get him to the ground. I was patting myself on the back for a job well-done when he ruined all of my good intentions.

"Don' ya wanna kiss me, Tro?"

I admit I stumble. It's rare something takes me by surprise, but that one question throws me for a loop. Stopping, I look down to study his face. He's fighting to stay awake like I had asked him to, and I can't get mad at him for choosing the one thing that weakens me. How is he supposed to know the very idea of kissing him is enough to make me tremble with a need I've never felt so strongly? "Duo, please don't tease me."

With a sigh I can feel across my neck, he rests his head against my chest, "So you don' want me."

How could I possibly withhold the truth from him when I hear such sadness in his voice? Concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other, I hope he will not remember this later and hate me. "I want you so bad it hurts. You have no idea how much I want to kiss you." Feeling him jerk in my arms, I resolutely keep my eyes off of him, not wanting to see the disgust on his face. "Right now you're hurt and I will not take advantage of you. You won't even remember this later."

"Wha' if I do? 'Member, that is."

"Then I hope you won't hate me," I tell him honestly.

He shakes his head, then groans. Since I've had concussions before, I know he's probably fighting the desire to throw up. With his head on my shoulder, I can barely hear his voice, but I do hear it. "Wha' if I wan' you to kiss me then?"

"If you ask me later, I won't hold back."

Lucky for me, Quatre comes out of the cabin at that moment and begins fussing over Duo. It's easy to tell how bad Duo feels because he doesn't argue about the mothering, as he usually does. After a few minutes, I finally get Quatre's attention, "Quatre, I need to get him to bed."

"Tha's wha I'm talkin' 'bout," mumbles Duo, face buried in my neck.

Heero chooses that second to walk outside and his eyes grow large at Duo's words. I'm not going to flinch or when he looks at me, or at least I hope not. Unfortunately, when he grins widely at me – I'm talking full-fledged grin– my face grows hot and I know I'm bright red. "Let Trowa get Duo inside, Quatre."

Holding my head high, I pass him, and I don't think I imagine the snicker as I go by, but choose to ignore it. In the hall I hesitate, not sure which room to take him to. Either I can take him to mine, or the one he's been sharing with Heero.

"You're bed is bigger," Heero is suddenly beside me.

Without saying anything, I turn to the right and into the room I've been using. Like the rest of the cabin, it's beat up and worn, but it serves my purposes. Laying Duo on the bed, I'm alarmed when I see his eyes are closed. I don't think about what I'm doing before running my hand down the side of his face until he opens his eyes at the touch. As soon as he looks at me I jerk my hand away like he's tried to bite me.

"How bad is he?" Quatre asked from the doorway, giving me a good excuse to turn away.

"He has multiple bruises and lacerations that are going to need to be stitched up, and a concussion. I haven't found any broken bones, but I need to take a better look at him. If you two can get him undressed, I'll get what I need." Please don't make me take his clothes off right now. There are times when I hate having the most medical training.

"I'll get the things you need. Quatre already started some water boiling in case you needed it."

Okay, that makes it certain. Heero is trying his level best to torture me for something I've done in a past life or something. Maybe he's pissed because of what Duo said, but that doesn't make any sense because he was laughing about it a few minutes ago. Then again, this is Heero. Who knows what the hell he's thinking?

"Trowa, do you want to do his top or bottom?"

On that one, I whirl around so fast I almost lose my balance. Quatre blinks at me from where he is standing on the other side of the bed. When I don't reply, he indicates Duo's clothing. "Top or bottom?"

I've got to get my head out of the gutter. "I'll take the bottom." I hope he doesn't hear the squeak in my voice, though I'm pretty sure he does when he smiles. The worst part is the weak smile Duo sends my way. Right now I really want to dig a hole so I can hide in it.

I manage to get Duo's boots, socks, and pants off pretty quickly. The main reason is because I cut the pants off – they weren't much more than rags. Whoever worked him over did a pretty good job of it. Also, staring at his leg helped, so I kept my eyes on one spot, noticing there was a small scar on the side of his knee, as well as the brand I noticed before.

When Heero finally returns with the items I need, I work on cleaning Duo's wounds and stitching up what needs it. I'm not really surprised when he refuses to take painkillers, but am stunned when Heero tells him to shut the hell up and take some aspirin. Even more surprising is that Duo complies after rolling his eyes tiredly.

As I continue to take stock of Duo's injuries, I tell myself to think it's just like treating anyone else. That works for the most part, but talking helps even more, so I begin to ask questions, "What happened? Heero incepted a message saying the workers had escaped and there was no trace of where they had gone."

"Got everyone out okay," Duo spoke slowly, enunciating his words very carefully instead of slurring them like he had been before. It bothers me that he feels the need not to reveal weakness, but I don't mention it. "One of the workers was actually an Oz agent placed with them so he could report any plans to revolt. I got them all to the house I had set up and he attacked me from behind. It was my damn fault," he suddenly hisses, face contorting with anger directed at himself.

"How was that your fault?" I have to ask, holding a hand to his chest to keep him lying on the bed when he tries to sit up, fingers tensing as I feel the way his heart beats beneath my palm.

Too weak to fight me, he subsides and collapses against the bed. "I let down my guard. I should have suspected there would be at least one agent planted with the workers. I shouldn't have just assumed they were all innocent."

"So if he snuck up from behind, how did you get away?"

Looking at Quatre, Duo lets out an evil laugh that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. He does the same laugh when he shoots down a mobile suit that has tried to kill him. That laugh scares the hell out of me sometimes. "That bastard didn't think about the other workers being a little protective - and appreciative - of the guy that got their asses out of that hellhole. While he was beating on me, they worked up a plan and took him down. He was a whole lot worse than I was when I left."

Quatre's face took on an appalled expression, "You just left him there?"

"No offense, Quatre, but the bastard tried to kill me. I wasn't feeling real friendly. 'Sides, I was bleeding pretty bad and my vision was blurry. All I could really think about was getting back to Tr…ahh, getting back here."

Did I hear that right? Could that have been my name he was about to say? Wait a second, maybe he was going to say that he wanted to get back to take a shower or something equally inane. There was no way he was going to say he wanted to get back to me. Right?

Trying to calm my racing mind, which is honestly beginning to make me a little tired from running in loops, I finish cleaning the wounds on Duo's legs and pull the sheet up to his waist. This means there is less flesh exposed to tempt me, but I still see far too much of his pale skin, unable to stop wondering how he keeps it so soft. "What did he hit you with?" I ask, seeing the large bruises that have already formed. "And how long ago was this?"

"It was either a hammer or a crowbar, and yesterday morning."

From the shape of the bruises I am looking at, I have to agree. "I'd guess a crowbar from the way…yesterday morning? What took you so long to get back?"

Even under the bruises, I can see the blush. Duo tries to hide his face, but it's not an easy thing to do when you can't get out of bed and your arms are being held down so you don't move. "Ummm…I crashed."

"You did what?"

When Duo winces, so do I. I've never heard Heero shout, and I'm not real sure if it's because he's angry or scared. Duo, who is braver than I am, levels a stare at Heero. "I crashed. It was up in the mountains and I passed out for a while. When I woke up, Deathscythe was on the ground. I'm only human, Heero. Get over it."

Maybe he's not braver. I think the concussion has given Duo a death wish, and since I hope to have him around for a while, I shake my head at him. "We were worried, Duo. You should have sent us a message. At least one of us would have come to meet you."

"Sorry. I didn't think about it. I wasn't thinking straight, to be honest. I just wanted to get back. I didn't even realize how much time had passed until I got almost all the way here." Duo's voice is embarrassed and ashamed, and I realize he expects us to yell at him or punish him in some way.

I guess Heero realizes this at the same time, because his voice is much softer when he speaks again, moving to sit on the bed beside Duo. "Trowa's right, Duo. We were all worried. I didn't mean to yell."

I wince when he reaches out and strokes Duo's hair, turning away from the sight. No matter how many times I tell myself not to get my hopes up, I don't listen. Then I end up hurt when something like this happens. One of these days I'll learn that I'll never get the things I want the most.

Deciding it would be best to give them a few minutes alone, I move as fast as I can to the door, stopping only when I hear Duo's voice calling weakly, "Trowa?"

Pushing the pain down until I can deal with it later, I do my best to keep my tone level. I will not let anyone see how badly this hurts me. I prefer to do my suffering in private, thank you very much. "You need to rest. You'll be able to sleep, but only for short amounts at a time. Do you think you can eat something?"

Because I won't turn, I can't see the look on Duo's face, but I can hear how tired he is. "I doubt it. Every time I move I feel sick."

"What about some juice?"

"Orange juice?"

A smile sneaks its way on my face even though I'm so depressed my shoulders want to sag. Duo developed an affection for orange juice, so I make sure I get at least one bottle for him to drink each time we are in the same place. I'm not sure if he knows who supplies the juice, but it's enough to know the gift isn't wasted. "Orange juice it is."

Quickly I retreat down the hallway, hearing soft voices talking behind me. For just a moment, I allow myself to lean against the wall, pain overwhelming me. It's hard to believe that such a short time ago I hoped Duo and I could have something. Cursing myself for a fool, I make my way to the kitchen, where Quatre is already holding one of the bottles of orange juice I was going to get.

Seeing my chance to escape for a little while, I cross my arms over my chest. "Can you take that to Duo? I need to take a walk."

His steady blue eyes meet mine without hesitation. There was a time when I thought we would eventually become a couple. That was before I met Duo. It hadn't taken any time at all for the sea-blue eyes I had been thinking of to be replaced by violet ones that firmly implanted themselves into my brain. At times like this, I really wish I had kept my sights on Quatre. Maybe then I wouldn't hurt so bad.

It takes me a few seconds to realize he had said something. Oops. "I'm sorry? What did you say?"

"I said that for someone so smart you can be really stupid."

I need to go blow up something. Maybe that will clean out my ears. I keep hearing things that don't make any sense. There is no way Quatre just said that. Then again, he's still glaring at me. "Can you explain that? I seem to be misunderstanding a lot today."

In all the time I've known him, I have never seen him do something as predictable as rolling his eyes – until now. It looks really weird. "You aren't misunderstanding anything, Trowa. You just continue to doubt yourself."

Seeing that I'm going to get a lecture, I reach for the juice, raising both eyebrows when he pulls it out of my reach. Resigned to waiting until he says what he wants to, I give him an impatient look. The smile he gives me says he's amused by my behavior. "You need to stop second guessing everything you see and hear. I am going to go work on Deathscythe and see what damage was done. Will you tell Heero I need his help? That should help Duo feel better about someone messing around inside his Gundam."

Handing me the bottle, he calmly walks out of the kitchen, and house, without saying anything else. Briefly wondering what the hell is going on, I shake my head and start back to my room. It doesn't take long. You can practically walk from one side of the house to another with a few long strides, and my legs are longer than most.

Slowing down in the hallway, I can hear voices. It sounds like Duo and Heero are arguing about something, and Heero is the one doing most of the talking. "Stop being a damned idiot, Duo. Just admit it and be done with it. I'm tired of hearing you whine."

"Heero, don't be an ass. You know why I don't say anything more obvious." Duo sounds weary and half-asleep.

"Because you're scared. I never thought I would see the day when someone who claims to be death would be afraid of admitting his feelings."

"Damnit, Heero, you know it's not that simple," Duo's voice has a bit of a bite to it, and makes me wonder what is going on with the pair.

Not wanting to disturb them but wanting to get this over with, I walk into the room and feel my eyes nearly pop out of my head. Heero is standing beside the bed with his hands on his hips, lines of irritation on his face. Duo is still lying down, but is glaring at the other teen. It is such a strange situation I can't help but laugh a little. It's like they have traded personalities for a moment without realizing it.

At the sound of my laughter, both of them look at me with wide eyes. "I have your juice, Duo," I say, hoping to break the tension I feel in the room. "Heero, Quatre wanted you to help him see what repairs need to be made to Deathscythe."

"That's a good idea. Do you happen to know if there are any major repairs that need to be done?"

"The jammers are fucked, but I'll deal with them later," the long-haired teen replies bluntly with a grimace.

At this, Heero looks annoyed, "I can fix the jammers. Is there anything else I?"

Duo's glare is back and once again aimed at the blue-eyed teen. "You can't fix the jammers, Heero. They are wired into the computer systems. The security measures are up and running just fine, and I advise you not to mess with the computer. There's an oil leak somewhere. See if you can find that."

Nodding, Heero leaves the room as I hand Duo the orange juice and help him sit up, propping him up with several pillows. I start to leave, but Duo stops me with a light touch on my arm. "Can you stay?"

As if I could deny him anything. "Sure, if that's what you want."

"I'd like that," he blinks tiredly. "Thanks for the juice. I just hope it stays down. My head is killing me."

"That could have something to do with the stitches on your forehead and the huge knot on the back of your head," I retort as I lean forward to check his wound. When his eyes go wide I stop, "What is it? Are you okay?"

Through the bruises, I see a blush stain his face. "I just thought…nothing. Nevermind."

I think about what would cause him to be embarrassed, abruptly recalling his strange request from earlier. "You don't have to worry, Duo. I'm not going to kiss you."

"Why not?"

"You have a concussion and aren't thinking straight, I will not hurt you, and I don't want Heero to beat the hell out of me," my mouth replies before my brain can censor what I'm going to say.

"I didn't hear anything in there about not being attracted to me," Duo doesn't miss a beat, even when he should – for my sake and his.

"That's because I am attracted to you. But I'm also attracted to breathing, if you don't mind."

I check his stitches, pleased with the job I did. I hope he'll let the subject drop, but somehow know he won't. It's not his way to leave things alone. Instead he has to prod them to death until he gets to the heart of the issue.

"So you are attracted to me. That takes care of one problem. What was next? Oh, yeah. I'm not thinking straight, but I could remember I have an oil leak and Heero can't fix the cloaking devices on Deathscythe. I can count backwards from twenty if that would make you feel better. I'd say a hundred, but I would fuck that up on my best day, I'm pretty sure."

Is he really shooting down all the reasons I have not to kiss him? This is going to be interesting. I should say something, but I really want to hear what the rest of his arguments are.

"I'm hurt all over, sure, but that's nothing new. Besides, my mouth is just fine, in case you hadn't noticed. As for Heero, why the hell would he care? If Quatre is in the barn like you said, I seriously doubt any repairs will get done."

At this piece of information, I sit on the edge of the bed in a hurry. Am I really that oblivious to what goes on around me? In my defense, I've been focused on Duo for a while now, and the last few days I've been worried about where he was. It would explain why Heero didn't complain when Quatre leaned over him earlier.

Holding his head, Duo is laughing as much as possible while feeling like a hot poker is being prodded into his brain. After a moment, I finally give up and smile, shaking my head. "When did this happen?"

"About a week ago or so. They aren't saying anything, I don't think. I shocked the shit out of Heero when I asked him about it."

"At least I'm not as unaware as I thought. I really haven't noticed them acting any differently, but there have been some small things I had wondered about."

Still smiling, Duo takes a sip of his orange juice and sighs. "Thanks for the juice, by the way."

"You needed something to keep you hydrated. It's the best way to give you some of the nutrients and vitamins you need right now without making you eat something you couldn't hold down anyways."

"Actually, I meant thanks for making sure there's always some for me. I had one with me when I left. I kept it in my locker with an ice pack. When I realized how much blood I was losing, I drank it to keep my sugar up," he reddens with the admission, and I recall he once mentioned he's anemic. Not really surprising with how little he eats and how little he weighs.

"Well, you really like it," I defend, looking anywhere but at him. I'm scared I'll give in to temptation now that I know he isn't involved with Heero.

"I never had oranges before, or orange juice. I love the tang that comes with the juice, but it's not messy like eating an orange, if that makes sense."

Thrilled to learn something about him, I prompt him to continue speaking. "Why haven't you ever had an orange?"

"I grew up on the streets of L2," he shrugs. "Not exactly the kind of place that has fresh fruit. The food we got, we stole. The only people on L2 that have fruit are the rich ones, and we were nowhere near where they lived. They made sure to keep us far away. If we ever got near the wealthy areas of the colony, guards would shoot at us. Not very welcoming, if you ask me. Then again, we would have stolen everything that wasn't tied down if we'd managed to get inside. You could get a lot of money for some of the junk those people had in their neighborhoods."

"It's amazing you like Quatre at all."

"Why? Because his family is one of the richest in the universe?" Duo shakes his head and smiles, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Quatre is one of the most generous people I've ever met. He gave up everything he had to fight for what he believes in. He's nothing like those people that live on L2. They would walk over a dying person without a thought if they were beneath their class."

As interesting as it is to learn of Duo's past, it also has the benefit of distracting him for a few minutes from our previous conversation. At least that was what I hope until tired violet eyes cut to me with a glint in them. "When're you gonna kiss me?"

"Duo, I don't want you to do something you'll regret later."

"If you don't kiss me, I'll regret it." He looks at me with a serious expression before averting his eyes, wincing when the back of his head scrapes the pillow. "Damn it, Trowa. I want you, and have for a long time. When I was on my way back I wasn't real sure I was going to make it, and I promised myself if I did I would tell you how I felt. Heero thinks I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn't want you to avoid me."

I don't know if he stopped talking because he was done, or because my mouth was already on his. I want to blame this on a moment of weakness, but learning he wants me was enough to break through all the restraint holding me back.

The second he responds I wonder what the hell took me so long to do this. His mouth moving against mine is the closest I've ever come to nirvana. Since I don't hear anything that could be called a complaint, I slide my tongue into his mouth, moaning as I finally get the full taste of him, just beneath the tang of the orange juice.

The many times I imagined this, I never believed it could be so good. As his fingers thread through the short hair on the back of my head, I shiver. This is the most electrifying thing I've ever experienced in my short life, and I hope I can do it again soon.

Pulling back slowly, I search his eyes for any sign of disgust, regret, or that I let him down in some way. My heart tightens painfully in my chest when all I see is a quiet happiness. His smile is beautiful, and goes all the way to his eyes. That in itself is a gift I never expected. Placing my forehead gently against his so I won't cause him pain, I sigh, "We should have done that a lot sooner."

"I agree. When do you plan to do it again?"

"After you get some rest. Regardless of what you think, you need to recover." I have to smile when his lips form a pout. "Drink your juice and get some sleep."

"Will you stay?"

"I don't see why not. You need someone to wake you up every hour for the night to make sure you're coherent."

I feel his eyes on me as I stand and walk to the other side of the bed. When I narrow my eyes at the bottle of liquid, he blushes and drinks down the rest of it with steady swallows. By the time he gets done and sets the bottle aside, I am on the bed with my shoes off, lying on top of the blankets. After I help him lie down flat, he tries to turn over to face me, wincing as his head rubs on the pillow again. "Be still."

"I want to be able to see you, so I know you're really here."

There's loneliness in his voice I never thought I would hear. Could he possibly have felt as sad and alone as I have all this time? I scoot closer and lay my arm over his chest, careful to avoid the worst of his injuries. "There. Now you know I'm here without moving."

"Thanks, Trowa. For everything." Duo's voice is slurred with sleep, telling me how truly exhausted he really is. "Promise you'll be here when I wake up?"

"I promise."

Through the hours of the night, I lay in the bed beside him. I know he'll sleep until I wake him, so I could leave if I wanted to. Honestly though, I have every intention of staying here all night. I made a promise, and it's one I want to keep. I hope there are other opportunities like this during the rest of the war, and more of them after the fighting finally ends. Perhaps we will eventually be able to sleep together without the fear of dying hanging over our heads. Until that day, I'll take what I can, and make another vow as the sun begins its ascent in the sky. "I'll be here whenever you need me, Duo."


End file.
